Still Going, Still Smiling

Love or fate or life (or whatever you want to call it) is such a fragile and fickle emotion.  One second it has you and the next, you're a goner.  The good news is that you can take a swing right back at it and proclaim, "I'm still here.  What else you got?"  In the end though, you must still be able to stand (quite literally in my case!).  You are plum out of luck if not. 

I have learned in my many travels (on this journey if you will) that if that's the way it is, then so be it.  Love can be ever so fragile.  I guess because you don't know what you have until you've lost it.  And let me tell you, it can be ever so hard to lose. 

In my case, I have found that really one of the hardest things when dealing with people I care about is showing them that I am not any different.  I've had to prove that I really am just as smart, just with a brain injury.  I guess not everyone with a TBI is so lucky though.  I really do feel like everybody thinks of me differently now.  But oh that is not true!  When I look at people who think this (of course I have to shrug my shoulders first), it can be so damaging and hurtful.  Period.  The only thing I can do is take it for what it is though. 

But one thing that really gets under my skin are cry babies over stupid stuff.  I have never cried once in my journey - never once and trust me, I got the short end of the stick to say the least. 

To be honest and I think I'm finally getting to my point, I feel like I've come out of this whole ordeal smarter than I was before.  I was forced to realize how fragile life is.  "It is what it is, you can cry about it all you want, but that really doesn't change anything."  There, you can quote me on that!  ha!

The only relief I have found is even at my lowest point imaginable, I have still had a smile on my goofy face. It really is always present.  Some of us take advantage of our lives.  It's just a plain fact.  You will never see this lazy dog brush off another day like he once did.  Instead you will see me taking advantage of every breath.  Living life to complete exhilaration and complete fullness. 

I hope you will do the same.

Oh yeah, I have proof of all of my smiling.  My aunt told me ya'll like seeing pictures, so here goes. 

This picture was at Thanksgiving 2010 - almost five months after the accident.  I could barely hold my head up on my own, but I was mustering up a smile (and a thumbs up). 

I was at Texas Neuro in Austin:

 Smiling on my birthday (six months after the accident):

 Here I am with Grandmother at CNS in Dallas in April ONE year ago.  Notice the smile. 

 Yep, I had a mohawk at CNS. 

Of course smiling with my family:

At the Ice House:

 Smiling AND Standing:

Some days I have more reason to smile than other days:

At church:

 Even smiling at therapy!

Still going.  Still smiling. 

Easter 2012

 I hope you all had a great Easter. 

I was with my family.  Gotta love the fam!

We laugh so much. 

My Grandmother thought that my metal pill

crusher was a can opener the last time

I was over there.  THIS time, she came

around the corner and saw it on her counter

and thought the handles on her sink

had broken.  We probably won't let her

live this one down.  I'm glad we can laugh

about things.  In fact, that's one thing

I've been able to do pretty easily since

I woke up from the coma.  Well, not

right away, but I've haven't had to

re-learn how to laugh again. 

My family definitely keeps me laughing.

So the picture above was from Sunday.

It's all the cousins on my mom's side

except for Macy (she couldn't come

home from Texas State). 

I missed my counterpart.  

The picture below is from last Easter

(I'm with my little cousins who

I like to call THE STORM).

This picture was about nine

months after the accident.  At that time,

I couldn't stand on my own at all.  

It took two people to help me move

from my wheel chair to another chair.
In fact, I could hardly do much of anything for myself.  

It's unbelievable how far I've come.

It's like fate (or whatever you want 

to call it) took a swing at me,

but look who's standing now (LITERALLY). 

I have much to be thankful for in my life.

I hope you had a great Easter

and I hope you laughed a lot, too.